Merry X'mas & Happy New Year 2010

[The most beautiful X'mas tree we have in town]

[Buddy for X'mas: Bib]

[Thanks Danny for X'mas Cupcakes]

I have great celebration on X'mas day with Bib. Can't believe only two of us things can be fun too. Now, time to say good bye to year 2009 and say hi to year 2010. I hope year 2010 will bring good luck to me and all my friends and family. May all my dreams come true !

Thoughtful

Sometimes I feel alive
Sometimes I feel dead
Sometimes my heart hurts
Sometimes it's all in my head

Sometimes I feel lonely
Sometimes I need my space
Sometimes there are no problems
Sometimes I've got too much to face

Sometimes things go right
Sometimes things go wrong
Sometimes I fit right in
Sometimes I just don't belong

Sometimes I want to laugh
Sometimes I want to cry
Sometimes I want to live
Sometimes I want to die

Sometimes I want to face life
Sometimes I want to be gone from sight
Sometimes I want to run
Sometimes I want to fight

Sometimes I want to sing
Sometimes I want to shout
Sometimes I know the answer
Sometimes I'm in doubt

Sometimes I'm happy
Sometimes I'm sad
Sometimes I'm scared
Sometimes I'm mad

Sometimes I want to win
Sometimes I want to lose
Sometimes I listen to music
Sometimes I watch the news

Sometimes I make decisions
Sometimes I'm told what to do
Sometimes I find life hard
Sometimes so do you ........

December 2009

December is the twelfth and last month of the year. Once you step into this month, most people.... oh wait, not most people. I guess only myself would think back what have been happened for the passed 11 months. Anyway it has been ups and downs in my life. But I guess without it I wouldn't learn how to live happily.

December... people here is busy planning their trip to somewhere else, getting prepare for X'mas and getting their presents ready too, some might start thinking about their new year "Aspiration". For me, I still take things slow and follow the flow to where I belong to. Kinda lack of motivation, doesn't think my life is exciting at all.

He came into my life one more time, I really doubt things would work out fine. But I do want to take times to know him better. He told me he wanted to meet me next year as he thought that we have been a LONG TIME friends and he thought it will be awesome meeting each other. Should I meet him ?? Let's see how things go .....

Feelings of Betrayal

Where do broken hearts go ?

When they don't have a song to sing or have a prayer.

When your heart is bare.

Where do broken hearts go ?

When your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on.

When your body goes numb and you can no longer care.

Where do broken hearts go ?

To shun themselves away from the rest of the world.

When they're all alone and can't stand to go on.

To be at one with themselves.

And think....think....think....think. Thinking why ?

Why would this person want to deliberately hurt me ?

Was it something I did ? Something I said ?

How could they do this to me ?

Then the depression turn to RAGE.

You feel betrayed.

Since your heart just went up in flames, you want revenge.

Suddenly it turns into this Bride of Chucky moment,

Where all you can think about is kill, kill kill.

Visualizing their blood being splattered painting itself on the walls.

You get up take a deep breathe and inhale the fumes of the dead corpse.

Feeling relieved you leave the scene.

Leaving them like you felt COLD.

Colder than dry ice.

So answer this WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO ?

I'm Not ALONE

Happy Birthday to ME ! I am grateful I have Bib & Beth with me today. Although only 3 of us, but I have a great Birthday. Thank you all of you guys for the lovely wishes.......

I wish the moment I step into 28 years old, everything will be FINE. How many years to go ??? No one can tell. So it's better live like you are dying with no regret in life.

My 3 Months ....

In my life, I haven't been feeling so down, tired of life, frustrated, lost and hating myself before. But in these 3 months it just like the rainbow. Too much of ups and downs. Luckily I didn't give up. Or I won't be here typing now.

Life is really tough to go through. Sometimes you just feel like giving up. I hate to be compared with someone lifes. By looking at people out there having a good lifes, that's sucks !!!

Teddy Bear, you are the one who always help me and you are the one who understand me the most. Of course my lovely sisters does too. Without you guys I would have already give up in my life. Thank you all.

Now .......

I learned how to be strong.
I learned how to live without you.
I learned how to enjoy life.
I learned how to see the world.
I learned how to love myself more.

And That's LIFE...........

I did it Again ...

I am not weak, although I cried out loud like there's no tomorrow.
I am happy I finally make up my mind. I realize that's not so bad.
I wish I know what do you have in your mind. But that's too late .......

How long will this last ? let's see and let's the time tell us .....

Why Am I so SAD ??

Feeling so down, when someone you really trust they let you down. Someone that you always thought of when you do something and they are always on your mind. But too bad they let you down ...........

That feeling is really sucks, hurts and it can make you speechless. Thousand of "WHY" on your mind !
Sometimes you just can't help it.

Tomorrow will be a better day .... yeah it will be !!

Sisters

3 May'09 - A great day be with my sisters, nephew & niece. Meet my high school teacher Sir Zamri. OMG .... he is getting old with his white hair all over. I was wondering what's in his mind seeing us having our own life now ? He taught us being a good person when we was young and seeing us sucess in life. He told us he is proud seeing us around :) I guess thats the best compliments isn't it ? I wish I am still 16 years old .... without any stress ! *ughhhh.....

I've been busy with work and missed a lot of fun time with family ! I missed the day when we were young, running around, laughed, cried ...... I love ya sisters !

Amei's Concert

20 Mac'09 - I have been dreaming going to Amei's Concert for ages. Finally my dream came true ! Yay ~ I'm so so so excited. Bought a most expensive ticket. Taking a plane from KK to KL just to watch this concert ! Am I insane ? No I am not hahahaha..... Dont even know how to get into the venue. Luckily I am smart enough ! Although taking a wrong train to different station, but it doesnt stop me. I keep asking strangers how to take a train to Bukit Jalil outdoor stadium and finally I get there after 2 hours journey. Gosh .... it's raining like *&^%$#$%^&*

Before the concert start the rain stopped. Thank god ! I am sure everybody are so excited including ME. There are nearly 20k people here just to watch this concert. Can you believe ?

I can't describe how's my emotion is when Amei came out to the stage. Her voice are superb !!! The first person I thought of is My mum. "Mummy, I finally see her infront of me. Can you see her ?" My mum likes her song call "sisters" and she sang that song too. How I wish I can have someone watching the concert with. Too bad just me alone .......

Overall feel, this concert is AWESOME with no regret ! Amei is a outstanding singer ever !!! Love it :)

The concert ended at 12am, to catch the last train I had to walk all the way from the stadium to the train station under the rain. God .... can you imagine how many people is waiting for the train ? I was like a sandwich inside the train. The most unlucky moment is that ..... The other connecting train station whereby to get to my hotel is closed. So I walked all the way from the station to the hotel. Guess what ? I walked for 1 hour under the rain. Holly S**t !!! Well this is my sweet experienced!!

Hostage

You and I are trying to breath in a sophisticated environment.

We both kidnap a part of each other.

I thought this defines what love is about?

So I stood by you through all these years.

Now, our love has become a stupid game with no trust but doubts.

The rule is to carefully breath and tread lightly in order to be closer.

But I am still drowned in the memory of your tenderness.

If you love me, you wouldn't be afraid of the void that exists between the both of us.
Pull the trigger and shoot through this loving heart of mine.

Let the sound of the shot sent our relationship back where it never began.

If I cannot escape from the haunting of love.

I won't struggle, I'll understand. Because it makes no difference anyway.

Finally, i'm released at this very moment.

Look at what our love has become.

Are you satisfied?

Let's just stop the lying.

Welcome Me ^.^

I loves my sister's blog, so I decided to have mine too. It will be cool to be my daily, weekly, monthly or yearly dairy here. Who knows one day when I disappear, there are still my story behind .....

I have a really tiring day. I wish I can be in Bali now feel the wind blow my face and having a tan at the beach ( not forget to have "bintang") That will be 'HEAVEN" !!