Day 195

So, we have been together for 195 days. What have you seen in your life ? Hell ? Is that what you were saying ? I am sorry for that ......

In life, I have been through a lot and I don't think you can even imagine it. I guess I am just the one who always get into bad luck. No, I won't blame you for that. I chosen to be with you and this is my life. I know we have been through a lot too. I heart is cracking into pieces when you tell me I am giving you a hell life. None of anyone have ever say that to me. That hurts me so bad and deeply. Do you know that ? I guess you don't, because you don't even care. 

I still remembered I flew all the way to see you. It was the sweetest time we have together. The time that I am taking care of you when you got into the bike's accident. The time that I stay up late to be with you when you were at work. The time that we got the new place for us. The time that we spend time together cooking. The time that we went to island for the weekend. The time that we went shopping & movies. The time that we fight (like you said ALWAYS). The time we spend 3 days together in the jungle and everything...... Its still so clear in my mind. I do enjoyed every minutes when we were together. But now, you just want to give up. I knew that I hurt you. What I am saying is not what I really want to. It broke my heart so badly when you told me the life you have with me is "HELL". To tell you to is because I want you to be happy. I don't want to seem like a Freak, Psycho, Drama queen or piece of shit in your life. I truly hope you will understand.

I have done everything I could to make us happy. Soon I'll have nothing in my life. I know letting go is the easy part, it is the moving on is painful. I fight, trying to keep things the same, but things can't stay the same though. At some point I just have to let go, move on. So, don't worry, no matter how painful it is, is the only way we will go through in life and keep living. 

I thank you for the sweet memories you have given me and the chance to loved. I love you so much and I want you to be happy. So, you better be ! Its hurts to love isn't it ? But at least we have tried and no regrets for what we love. 

Good Bye My love....... Nam Smaointean Gu Brath ! I Love You ~