I Tried

It has been few days without hearing from you. I think....what have I done is successful by now. It's killing me by letting you leave me. Been up for days without sleeping. Why? Because, I miss you very much. I get used to talk to you everyday. When things suddenly change it's hard for me to cope.

I try not to miss your face, your voice, your caring, your smile and your everything.
I try not to talk to you.
I try not to call you.
I try not to think about you.
I try not to think what you would think about.
I tried everything ……….

What made me even crazy is going to the place where we met. It makes me think about you every minute. Why must my lives have to be like this? I wonder………

Isn’t this crazy telling you I missed you? When I am the one who did this in the first place? You must have thought that I am insane. Yes I am! Do I have a choice? Do you think I love this? I am the one who should be blamed. I knew it!!! But what else can I do? Knowing that things are complicated? I tried to believe in fate, I tried not to listen what will happen next… but I rather hurt you now than later.

God, I beg you to get this over now. I don’t want to be suffered! Please ……
I hate to pretend I’m strong. I just want to be a normal one, who can cry out loud without feeling the pain and sleep like a normal person. I’m enough for this. Just take me away from here …… I begged you.

When I see the rainbow, that’s the time I would say good-bye. I am sorry …..Because I love you.

" Doesn't Matter", "Nothing is Important"

"Please don't go!"
I really hope I can hear it when you say that and stay here for you.

"I just feel bad."
I know you are and I do hope I could make you feel happy right away.

"I'm Shitty."
No, you are not! Trust me .....

"You will be fine, that's what you say when you don't care."
I do care, I do.....

"Why couldn't you just wait?"
I am waiting..... but I can't now.

"So it is my fault? I ruined everything?"
No! You did not. I am! Trust me .....

"I won't try again, I should never have bothered!"
This is real hurt and makes my heart in pain. Pretending is tough. I know I shouldn't meet you. If I didn't this won't happen at all.

"I don't have a lot now. I don't even have hope of any good things now"
I'm sorry; I never thought of hurting you and make you disappointed. My bad!

"I am glad to see you've recovered so quickly, enjoy the celebration."
Mocking, that's what you are good at. If you think so, that’s mean you don't understand me. How sad! I was thinking to explain, but I know I shouldn't. I have already fired it up.

"It doesn't matter."
This is what you said when you are not happy.

"You already want to get lost anyway, so what difference does it make?"
I would stay if you ask me one more time. But I know you won't. I have no choice....

"Nothing is important now."
Is this what I want? My heart is crying out loud.....

Can you feel the PAIN?

When You Must Let Go Things .......

I'm sorry for hurting you. That's not what I want at all ...... Sure, it will hurt you so much. But, I know you well. Everything will be fine when I stop talking to you.

You can blame me or hating me. I'll take it. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promised. I wish I could .....

I shouldn't start this at all .... I'M SO SORRY !
Not hopping for you to forgive. What I really hope is, you can meet someone you deserve and make you happy. Thanks for the memories.

原谅

每当一个人伤了我的心，虽然我会很心痛甚至哭的要生要死，

不过我活到今天我还没真正的恨一个人。 有时候在想我为什么可以那么不在意。不管发生什么事，我都会先把事情想到是我没把事搞好，所以才会有问题。

有时会觉得自己很没有用。不过我就是我啊！我就是不能这样，哪我可以怎样？

心太软的我，每一次都会给别人看穿自己。真没用！

你说。。。我有可能可以不原谅一个人吗？

你的付出够多了吗？

* I truly believe this type of man is extinct in this world !