I Tried

It has been few days without hearing from you. I think....what have I done is successful by now. It's killing me by letting you leave me. Been up for days without sleeping. Why? Because, I miss you very much. I get used to talk to you everyday. When things suddenly change it's hard for me to cope.

I try not to miss your face, your voice, your caring, your smile and your everything.
I try not to talk to you.
I try not to call you.
I try not to think about you.
I try not to think what you would think about.
I tried everything ……….

What made me even crazy is going to the place where we met. It makes me think about you every minute. Why must my lives have to be like this? I wonder………

Isn’t this crazy telling you I missed you? When I am the one who did this in the first place? You must have thought that I am insane. Yes I am! Do I have a choice? Do you think I love this? I am the one who should be blamed. I knew it!!! But what else can I do? Knowing that things are complicated? I tried to believe in fate, I tried not to listen what will happen next… but I rather hurt you now than later.

God, I beg you to get this over now. I don’t want to be suffered! Please ……
I hate to pretend I’m strong. I just want to be a normal one, who can cry out loud without feeling the pain and sleep like a normal person. I’m enough for this. Just take me away from here …… I begged you.

When I see the rainbow, that’s the time I would say good-bye. I am sorry …..Because I love you.