You can’t always get what you want !

Sometimes it’s not that I want to let myself down. But to ask or to know things is better than it happens when you are not ready, right ? Eventhough I would have expected the answer may turn out badly, but at least I know before I really did it.

In the beginning, the answer does make me feel sad. As I expected it can be wonderful. However I still have full of doubt, that’s why I asked. But now it has been crystal clear and I don’t think I wanted to do it. Thank god ! Some people they only say things to make you happy, but never thought that it can really hurt you.

Sadly to say, that’s a huge disappointment …….

Papa Happy Birthday !

Although this is my worst Mid-Autumn festival I ever have. But because of Papa I must make sure your daughter ME is happy. I know you noticed something is wrong with me and I believe you never want to see me sad. Papa, I am sorry I made you worry about me. You know from the bottom of my heart I never want you to see me sad. But I just couldn’t help it, when you start asking me things ……

I’m so SORRY I kept secret from you. Please don’t worry about me, I will be fine !

Today is your birthday. Here, I want to promise you that, I’ll do everything to make you happy, no matter how hard it gonna be. But I will never give up. Thanks for the big hugged ! That almost made me cries out loud. Soon I will prove you my happiness. You just have to stay healthy and live longer for me.

Papa, I love you !

I’m Speechless

Love the way you lie ........

Chances

Even if you don't believe it or never thought about it, there is a chance that you could live a bigger life than a conventional one, whenever you feel motivated, even just a split second, protect your thought, act on it. For chances come few times in life, a limited few times......

Beautiful Sunday

A Grouchy morning awakens by a phone call from Nav. Two monsters wanted to have breakfast with me. How I wish I can continue to sleep, but …. I just can’t say NO. We went to a Chinese restaurant for “dimsum”. Didn’t eat much as I have no appetite to eat. Maybe that’s because I didn’t get to sleep much. Everything I see it makes me irritated. I tried not to talk much as I know I will blow up if I did. So I choose to be quiet. Nav knows what happen so she sends me home after we finished.

I tried to went back to sleep but I couldn’t. What else can I do ? I turned the laptop on and see if you were online. Well… you did, but I bet even I send a message I know I’ll get no response. In the end I choose to watch movie “The Invention of Lying”. It’s a good movie but not in a mood to watch so I stopped watching. Saw an alert appearing on my screen “JC is online”. Right away he send me a message “Babe, are you there ?”. How I wish that’s you who is sending the message…….

I always kept distance with him. As I know how he feel towards me. Today I just need someone to talk to and he is here for me. We chatted a lot and this make me feel better. I couldn’t believe we have been spending whole day talking to each other. God, it’s more than 12 hours. I don’t even get to do this with you. Although I wish to …..

This conversation made me think that you are really important to me. Although you may thought that you are not. But JC have made me believe that I shouldn’t just give up looking for what I want. I hope the same for you. Eventhough things may not work out in the end but I wouldn’t regret and I wouldn’t blame you. JC, Thank you for the good conversations :)

And for you …. We will see what’s next …….

Sleepless Night

From a nightmare to a sleepless night, I thought I have got used to it. Lately having a weird nightmare making me wonder what’s happening to me. From an unknown man chasing me and trying to kill me, cockroaches all around my body, centipedes all around my bed and seeing full of death bodies. Is this normal ? Oh Mei … What’s happening ?

This is really torturing me. Having a bad health is not my fault. I’ve been trying my best to live and care as much as I can. I’ve never wanted people think that I am different from the rest. I play, I run, I jump, I dance, I swim, I smile and I even hide my pain and sadness just wanted people think that I’m happy. Is this wrong ? To me, seeing them happy that’s my happiness. Mum, I heard you……

One week with only less than 7 hours sleep, I wonder how I handled it though. Zane always said “ Mei, you won’t be 28 forever. You will get old, winkles everywhere, ugly and die one day.” Hah…. Who doesn’t know the fact of life ? The thing is that, I might not be able to wait till I get old and ugly then die. Even so, I will be very grateful if I have that moment. I swear I will be very happy to see that !

Someone asked me, “Do you listen to yourself or do you often ask yourself what you want in life ?”

Me: Yes, I do. How about you ?
Him: Me too. But I can’t get what I really want, even I’ve tried my best. I don’t think I will ever get what I want.
Me: Sometimes you do not need to own them. You know you’ve own the best memories that the rest of the people will never get. Isn’t that enough ? Doesn’t mean you have it, things will go well. Right ?

Him: I wish I can go back......

This is what I call "appreciate" what you've got before you lose it. Shall we ?

I own the memories !!!

放下你 ，我还记得你

哭过了，梦醒了，生活还是要继续，
不必为自己找一个让你忘了他的理由，
而是需要找一个能让自己开心的理由，
让自己过得开心，让自己过得潇洒，
然后等待一个可以给得起自己幸福的人…

寂寞寂寞就好

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會換這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰 擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
想到 快瘋掉 死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡 微笑
我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的
借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用 每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼 什麼都沒有 早點看破 才看的見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰 擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
想到 快瘋掉 死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡 微笑
我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的
我總會把你戒掉