I Tried

It has been few days without hearing from you. I think....what have I done is successful by now. It's killing me by letting you leave me. Been up for days without sleeping. Why? Because, I miss you very much. I get used to talk to you everyday. When things suddenly change it's hard for me to cope.

I try not to miss your face, your voice, your caring, your smile and your everything.
I try not to talk to you.
I try not to call you.
I try not to think about you.
I try not to think what you would think about.
I tried everything ……….

What made me even crazy is going to the place where we met. It makes me think about you every minute. Why must my lives have to be like this? I wonder………

Isn’t this crazy telling you I missed you? When I am the one who did this in the first place? You must have thought that I am insane. Yes I am! Do I have a choice? Do you think I love this? I am the one who should be blamed. I knew it!!! But what else can I do? Knowing that things are complicated? I tried to believe in fate, I tried not to listen what will happen next… but I rather hurt you now than later.

God, I beg you to get this over now. I don’t want to be suffered! Please ……
I hate to pretend I’m strong. I just want to be a normal one, who can cry out loud without feeling the pain and sleep like a normal person. I’m enough for this. Just take me away from here …… I begged you.

When I see the rainbow, that’s the time I would say good-bye. I am sorry …..Because I love you.

" Doesn't Matter", "Nothing is Important"

"Please don't go!"
I really hope I can hear it when you say that and stay here for you.

"I just feel bad."
I know you are and I do hope I could make you feel happy right away.

"I'm Shitty."
No, you are not! Trust me .....

"You will be fine, that's what you say when you don't care."
I do care, I do.....

"Why couldn't you just wait?"
I am waiting..... but I can't now.

"So it is my fault? I ruined everything?"
No! You did not. I am! Trust me .....

"I won't try again, I should never have bothered!"
This is real hurt and makes my heart in pain. Pretending is tough. I know I shouldn't meet you. If I didn't this won't happen at all.

"I don't have a lot now. I don't even have hope of any good things now"
I'm sorry; I never thought of hurting you and make you disappointed. My bad!

"I am glad to see you've recovered so quickly, enjoy the celebration."
Mocking, that's what you are good at. If you think so, that’s mean you don't understand me. How sad! I was thinking to explain, but I know I shouldn't. I have already fired it up.

"It doesn't matter."
This is what you said when you are not happy.

"You already want to get lost anyway, so what difference does it make?"
I would stay if you ask me one more time. But I know you won't. I have no choice....

"Nothing is important now."
Is this what I want? My heart is crying out loud.....

Can you feel the PAIN?

When You Must Let Go Things .......

I'm sorry for hurting you. That's not what I want at all ...... Sure, it will hurt you so much. But, I know you well. Everything will be fine when I stop talking to you.

You can blame me or hating me. I'll take it. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promised. I wish I could .....

I shouldn't start this at all .... I'M SO SORRY !
Not hopping for you to forgive. What I really hope is, you can meet someone you deserve and make you happy. Thanks for the memories.

原谅

每当一个人伤了我的心，虽然我会很心痛甚至哭的要生要死，

不过我活到今天我还没真正的恨一个人。 有时候在想我为什么可以那么不在意。不管发生什么事，我都会先把事情想到是我没把事搞好，所以才会有问题。

有时会觉得自己很没有用。不过我就是我啊！我就是不能这样，哪我可以怎样？

心太软的我，每一次都会给别人看穿自己。真没用！

你说。。。我有可能可以不原谅一个人吗？

你的付出够多了吗？

* I truly believe this type of man is extinct in this world !

刺猬

最后一抹的微笑

在转身之后

我闭上眼哭了

仅存的一点点骄傲 

华丽的外表终于丢掉

很彷徨很孤单 是寂寞或悲惨

一个人该怎么办

像是刺猬般防范

伪装的勇敢

不轻易让你看穿

我以为可以很坦然

面对分开时不觉得伤感

然而将灯关上 一片无声黑暗 

心痛的大声呼喊

我想我没那么坚强

每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强 

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏 比傻瓜还傻

刺猬的坚强全都是假象 哭吧

像是刺猬般防范

伪装的勇敢

不轻易让你看穿

我以为可以很坦然

面对分开时不觉得伤感

然而将灯关上 一片无声黑暗

心痛的大声呼喊

我想我没那么坚强

每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强 

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏 比傻瓜还傻

刺猬的坚强全都是假象

我想我没那么坚强

每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强 

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏 比傻瓜还傻 

刺猬的坚强全都是假象 哭吧 

忽冷忽热的爱

由期待演变成等待是什么样的感觉？
由希望演变成绝望又是什么样的境界？
没有一双温柔的双手能够握紧我，
没有一个温暖的胸膛可以让我依靠，
忽冷忽热的感觉是那么的伤，
明明有个可以握紧双手的人，
却不知何时才能握起他的手，
明明有个可以躺在怀里依偎的人，
却总是害怕他那冷漠的眼光，
明明有个爱你的人在身边，
却又不知道他的心中在想些什么...
他做什么事情从来就不需要向你交代，
他做什么决定从来就不需要你的认同，
他的心情从来都是没人能够真正了解，
他可以一天二十四个小时都缠着你，
也可以一连几天都没打过一通电话给你，
只要他觉得开心就会对你很好，
但只要他不开心就会对你冷漠，
他不是一个很好相处的人，
可却是你最深爱的一个人，
两个人是情侣的关系，
可却比陌生人还要来得陌生，
他总能一次次给你无限的惊喜，
也总能一次次的将你的美梦给破碎，
从不喜欢两个人没联络，到习惯两个人几天没联络，
从喜欢有个人陪在身边，到习惯一个人的生活，
从对他有着满腔的热情，到最终却习惯了他的冷漠，
从不可以接受这样的爱，到最终习惯这样的爱，
不是没有想过要离开他，
可就是深深地爱着他，
不是可以习惯这样的生活，
而是不得不习惯这样的生活，
可爱上了，一切都不再一样了，
或许直接不接受会来得好一些吧，
至少不用过着这样的生活，
有着满满的希望，
也有着满满的失望...
对你的爱是他给你的希望，
对你的冷漠是他给你的失望，
当希望一次次演变成失望后，
绝望也会随之而来临...
人之所以会绝望，
是因为他给你的希望，
只能带来失望...